Ok so here's my dilemma....
I talk too much. I'm slightly too comfortable with everyone and honestly, I really don't get embarrassed easily. I tell things as they are and many times, I suffer from this habit. However, when it comes to mushy gooshy things, I tend to hold back... ALOT. I overanalyze and I always question my impulses. And the worst part is that because of my inability to act instinctively (almost Hamlet-like), I almost always get fucked over.
Many times in my life I question my method and I ask myself whether I should change in any way. Maybe hold back a little? Perhaps act a little bit more mysterious?
As I read Pride and Prejudice I find myself looking at the ways that the characters associate with one another. One character which really called my attention was Mr. Darcy. Throughout the whole novel he is seen as a big headed, unsociable ass. He doesn't express himself and constantly repels all types of communication that is addressed at him. He doesn't dance with Elizabeth at any of the balls and all that he does throughout the beginning part of the novel is criticize everyone and everything that he sees.
Darcy seems to have an inability to speak or maybe he is just using this "mask" to hide his true personality. He uses this shell to protect himself and not let anyone near him sentimentally except the people that have always been there for him (Bingley). He has suffered from the things that his good friend Wickham did to him and his sister and he has created this shield in order to protect himself and his family from getting hurt again.
Should I, like Darcy, become a sheltered introverted person because of all the pain that I've had to deal with? Or should I just take out my umbrella and protect myself and my smile from all the world's shit that just keeps tumbling down on me?
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